I wrote this myself in an attempt to demonstrate my frustration with the Requirements Analysis phase of development on my current project. It's a humorous look of what the Bible doesn't tell you about the Flood.

So God saw the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and it grieved him to his heart.

So God said, "I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the ground, man and beast and creeping things and birds of the air, for I am sorry that I have made them."

But Mnzg the Requirements Analyst, although a picky sort of fella, found favor in the eyes of the Lord.

And God said to Mnzg, "I have determined to make an end of all flesh; for the earth is filled with violence through them; behold, I will destroy them with the earth.

Make yourself an ark of gopher wood; make rooms in the ark, and cover it inside and out with pitch."

And Mnzg said to the Lord, "Your will be done. I just wish I understood what you mean."

God explained, "I shall bring a flood of waters upon the earth, to destroy all flesh in which is the breath of life from under heaven; everything that is on the earth shall die.

But I will establish my covenant with you; and you shall come into the ark, you, your sons, your wife, and your sons' wives with you."

Mnzg replied, "Oooo, I like the way you say, 'shall.' Could you elucidate on the ark a bit?"

And God said to Mnzg, "This is how you are to make it: the length of the ark three hundred cubits, its breadth fifty cubits, and its height thrity cubits.

Make a roof for the ark, and finish it to a cubit above; and set the door of the ark in its side; make it with lower, second, and third decks.

And of every living thing of all flesh, you shall bring two of every sort into the ark, to keep them alive with you; they shall be male and female."

Mnzg considered all this, and wrote it down. Then he said unto the Lord, "So that I may perform an initial analysis, please review the following system requirements and inform me of any issues:

1.0 Overview

1.1 Save Mnzg, his sons, his wife, his sons' wives, and other creatures from the coming flood by sheltering them in a suitable vehicle.

2.0 Definitions

2.1 Ark shall be defined as a seaworthy vessel capable of carrying cargo.

2.2 A Cubit shall be defined as the length of Mnzg's arm, from elbow to longest finger tip.

2.3 Gopher Wood shall be defined as cedar.

3.0 Requirements

3.1 Mnzg shall build an Ark.

3.1.1 The length of the Ark shall be three hundred (300) cubits.

3.1.2 The width of the Ark shall be fifty (50) cubits.

3.1.3 The height of the Ark shall be thirty (30) cubits.

3.1.4 The Ark shall have a roof. The roof shall be finished to a cubit above the highest deck.

3.1.5 The Ark shall have a door. The door shall be set in the side of the Ark.

3.1.6 The Ark shall have three decks. The lowest deck shall be known as the lower deck. The deck above the lower deck shall be known as the second deck. The highest deck shall be known as the third deck.

3.1.7 The Ark shall have rooms.

3.1.8 The inside of the Ark shall be covered with pitch.

3.1.9 The outside of the Ark shall be covered with pitch.

3.1.10 Mnzg shall use gopher wood as the base construction material of the ark.

3.2 The Ark shall carry cargo and passengers as described in this section.

3.2.1 The Ark shall carry Mnzg as a passenger.

3.2.2 The Ark shall carry Mnzg's sons as passengers.

3.2.3 The Ark shall carry Mnzg's wife as a passenger.

3.2.4 The Ark shall carry Mnzg's sons' wifes as passengers.

3.2.5 The Ark shall carry two of every sort of living thing of all flesh (PAIRS). One of each of the PAIRS shall be male. One of each of the PAIRS shall be female.

3.3 Food: TBD

3.4 This requirement intentionally left blank.

4.0 Loading

4.1 TBD"

God looked upon the requirements, and Mnzg lost favor in the eyes of the Lord.

Then the Lord was heard to say, "I think I'll just go talk to Noah."